Liveblogging the Oscars 2010

It’s time for the 82nd annual Academy Awards ceremony; I’ll be your host for this evening. To join in on the conversation and fun, you can either respond below or holla at me by sending a message to “@trishalynn” on Twitter.

All times are Eastern ’cause I’m in New York City, and I pray that I will be awake long enough to finish out this awards show.

And let the show begin!

5:38 pm: I’m actually beginning this year’s live blog by watching the very first episode of “Leverage” with a friend who’ll be keeping me company during the boring categories. By starting with this show, I figure that I’ll be going into this very long ceremony on a good note.

I’d like to remind you that our hosts for this year will be Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin, only one of whom has hosted the ceremony before. Also, the show is under the production of newbies Bill Mechanic and Adam Shenkman; I am eagerly predicting that there will be many dance numbers which makes my inner girly girl squeal with happiness.

6:44 pm: Yeah, I just finished watching another episode of “Leverage” from DVR because a) we’ve still got a lot of time to kill before even the red carpet stuff starts and b) I do have a guest. Also, there’s no way that I’m going to be able to eat dinner while the show’s going and type at the same time.

I’ve also just added Ben Lyons to my Twitter list because apparently he’s the official backstage Tweeter for the production office. But I’m not adding Ryan Seacrest, no matter how much you beg.

Elizabeth Banks was just on right now, mentioning that she presented the Sci-Tech Oscars, calling them the “nerd Oscars.” Though, there was this awesome moment where she mentioned that she was watching Versace and Tom Ford (fashion designer and director of A Serious Man) was standing next in line to speak to Seacrest so there was a little bit of friendly clashing.

6:50 pm : Sigourney Weaver is so cute speaking about Avatar because even though she is a fairly intelligent woman, she’s totally toeing the company line. She looks fantastic in her red toga-like dress, and she just mentioned that she’s going to be pole-dancing for her role in You, Again. HOMG, I think I may have turned gay.

6:58 pm: I can’t believe that Jay Manuel is employing Monday Night Football-style graphics to talk about fashion. Finally saw Sandra Bullock’s dress, and yes, she does look amazing and gorgeous, but my friend was all, “Eh.” He’s a boy, what does he know?

7:18 pm: Totally dislike Sarah Jessica Parker’s dress. My friend just said that she looks cured, like leather. I completely agree, but I think it’s interesting that they’re talking about the PBS miniseries that Matthew Broderick is on right now

Kathryn Bigelow is tall. I also just noticed that Linda Hamilton’s kinda tall, as is Weaver, and the Na’vi are humongous. I am prepared to unequivocally state that James Cameron has a fetish for tall women.

Charlize Theron had roses on her bodice, and I can’t believe that I’m agreeing with Jay Manuel regarding their placement.

7:28 pm: Matt Damon is looking old for some reason. I also think it’s a shame that though tuxes are so boring to look at. And George Clooney? What happened to your hair? Back to Damon, who mentioned briefly the Liberace project that someone in my office is upset about because one of her clients was going to be doing a Liberace project next.

7:31 pm: Clooney, Queen Latifah, and Adam Shankman are riffing on Jeff Bridges being Lebowski-like. And I think it’s hilarious how Meryl Streep was ignoring Seacrest for just a bit, and now she’s busting his balls.

7:38 pm: Keanu Reeves couldn’t grow a beard to save his life. Why so patchy?

7:42 pm: Gabourey Sidibe is so cute for fist-bumping Keanu Reeves and she just said about her dress, “If fashion were porn, this dress is the money shot.” But I do have to admit, that it reminds me of Christian Siriano’s brown prom dress that he designed for a teenager who ended up hating it.

7:44 pm: RDJ is awesome for rocking the blue bow tie and gray jacket. Thank you for being different and awesome. Seacrest is now just telling us that there’s going to be something awesome happening at the beginning of the show and if it’s NPH himself, Neil Patrick Harris, doing an opening number, I will plotz.

7:53 pm: Kate Winslet looks amazing. Not sure I like the front pleating, though. Jeff Bridges’ partner is just so beautiful. And… now I think they’re recycling the dress shots. That’s okay, this gives me a chance to renew my hatred for Miley Cyrus.

8:04 pm: Switched over to the ABC coverage because it’s close to crunch time. Nice coup for them getting all five of the Supporting Actress nominees to talk to each other, but it just feels weird to have them all corralled like that. OMG, how fucking awesome is George Clooney for running down the fan line like that?

8:09 pm: Seeing the trailer for The Last Song makes me not want to see it. However, I do still appreciate Greg Kinnear’s acting trajectory from “The Soup” and hope the same thing happens to Joel McHale and/or Chris Hardwicke.

8:14 pm: I almost plotzed when Kathy Ireland asked Morgan Freeman about his producer and daughter’s jewelry, but when he mentioned that they’d be auctioning them off to raise money for Nelson Mandela’s charity, I was cool.

Here’s the first montage of the evening, recounting the Best Picture winners for a certain time period before mentioning the nominees for this year. They’re just showing the movie posters in alphabetical order and so far, I am not impressed.

8:26 pm: I totally love Whatshisface from for calling Meryl Streep the most nominated actor in history. And let’s go on with the show! But after these commercial breaks.

8:34 pm: They’ve brought out all the Best Actor and Best Actress nominees on stage to start the show, and Sidibe looks like she’s having the most fun. And now, they’re being escorted off-stage by tuxedo gents and

I am so totally plotzing listening to Neil Patrick Harris sing his fucking heart out, and I completely forgive Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin right now.

8:45 pm: Seven minutes into the show, and I am not loving how often they’re busting into Meryl Streep. And then they just totally got me back with the Hitler joke because of how audacious it was. At least Gabourey Sidibe’s mom like Steve Martin’s joke. I fear I’m totally missing something with the Clooney/Baldwin staring contest, though. All in all, I give this opening monologue a C.

8:50 pm: First award is for Best Supporting Actor, and I want to shoot whomever wrote Cruz’s joke. And the winner is Christophe Walz, and good on him for it. I’m loving the Quentin Tarantino as navigator metaphor in his speech, and it was nicely done.

8:53 pm: Ryan Reynolds introduced Sandra Bullock’s performance in The Blind Side and I’m of two minds as to whether or not I think she should win it, mostly due to accusations of racefail that were thrown about.

9:05 pm: I like the Best Animated Picture introductions. And the winner is Up which totally surprises no one. Very gracious speech from director Pete Docter.

I hate Amanda Seyfried’s dress now, because it’s overly fluffy. She and Miley Cyrus are presenting the Best Original Song nominees, and I do love that they’re showing actual clips from the movie and/or showing the real singers doing the songs in context. Ryan Bingham and T-Bone Burnett take it down for “The Weary Kind” for Crazy Heart. I also just noticed that the “This is the XXth award for BLANK” announcements are back, and I wish they’d stayed away.

9:07 pm: Chris Pine introduces District 9, mostly only because he was in Star Trek. I think they only amped up the “The theme of this movie is based in apartheid” angle so that the rest of the people in the audience could know why it was nominated.

9:16 pm: Yeah, you betta recognize that Tina Fey revived your career, Baldwin. I am in love with the actor/writer banter between Fey and RDJ. There’s that snark and cynicism that I wanted to see in this year’s ceremony. Hooray for Mark Boal, winning Best Original Screenplay for The Hurt Locker.

9:21 pm: Oh no, I didn’t want to think about John Hughes’ death right now. *pours one out* And they’ve now brought out so many of his former leading actors and actresses, and gave his family a standing ovation. I also would feel remiss if I didn’t link to this blog entry I read the day of or the day after his death.

9:25 pm: Okay, as much as I loved Up, can I say that the only reason why I think it got nominated was because it does feature one of the saddest scenes ever to be shot in or for a Disney movie and yes, that does include Old Yeller.

9:35 pm: I’m in love with this montage for the Best Short Film nominees because showing how short films can lead to features and inspiring future full-length film directors is just so neat. “Logorama” wins for Best Animated Short, and I have got to find the whole thing somewhere because it looks kinda neat. I’m in love with producer François Alaux for these lines: “No logos were harmed during the making of the project”, “You can applaud them, they’re directors,” and after mentioning that it took six years to make the short, “I hope to come back with a feature film in about 36 years.”

Best Documentary Short goes to “Music by Prudence” and I am totally perplexed by this woman who just jumped into the middle of their acceptance speech… and they got played off! The winner for Best Live Action short is “The New Tenants,” but I didn’t pay attention to them at all because I was still trying to find out who the white woman was who pulled a Kanye West.

9:43 pm: Best Makeup is being presented by Ben Stiller in Na’vi drag, and there are ways it could have been more effective. I’m saying that Stiller’s 0 for 2 in my book when it comes to Academy Awards presenting. Star Trek wins, and goddamnit, I am really getting pissed off at these people being played off.

9:45 pm: Unfortunately, I have no thoughts on A Serious Man, and I’m totally jonesing for a cigarette.

10:22 pm: A tribute to horror movies? I’m digging this Paranormal Activity tribute, and oh no… Twilight is not a horror movie. How dare they tie these things in together? Still, a good representation from the best horror movies.

10:25 pm: Okay, I love this explanation of how sound editing works because god knows it’s a category that so many laymen don’t understand. Even better that it was narrated by Morgan Freeman. The winner for Best Sound Editing is The Hurt Locker. I hope they explain Sound Mixing at the same time. Nope… that’s a bit of an oversight. Winner for Best Sound Mixing is also The Hurt Locker, and I really hope this is a sign that Locker will beat Avatar for Best Picture.

10:31 pm What the hell was that? They only panned over a picture of the Sci-Tech winners? Oh, Oscars, you hurt us nerds so badly and yet we still care about you.

It would be so awesome if The Inglorious Basterds won the Best Picture award. And while I’m at it, I’m going to link you to this list of honest movie posters which is doing a better job of summarizing the Best Picture nominees than these clips are.

10:36 pm: What’s up with no clips for the Best Cinematography award? Avatar finally picks up a technical Oscar; I’m not as upset about this as I could be.

10:43 pm: Okay, Karl Malden got the most applause during the In Memoriam part and I totally loved James Taylor singing “In My Life” because that is just a sad and wonderful song. For some reason, there seemed to be many more younger people in this montage than usual. Or maybe I’m just noticing this because I’m getting older.

10:52 pm: Street dancers interpreting Original Score, and OMG, it’s the League of Extraordinary Dancers! Their interpretation still doesn’t beat Jasmine Guy and friends from the 1990s, though. The winner is Up, and I have to say that the LXD interpretation of that score did make me tear up. “Being creative is not a waste of time!” So freaking true.

10:55 pm: Avatar picks up the Visual Effects award, and really… it’s probably the only one it really deserved. “Thank you for trusting us with your performances, it couldn’t have been easy,” is such an understatement.

11:07 pm: What’s with all the writer-hate? And just what the hell happened to Matt Damon? Winner for Best Documentary Feature is The Cove which is probably giving every PETA member in a 25 mile radius a hell of an orgasm. But an organic one. Also a first for Oscars? First mass cell phone sign-up ad on stage.

11:10 pm: After a more entertaining bit than most of anything Martin and Baldwin have done, Tyler Perry presents the Best Film Editing award to The Hurt Locker and my hopes are renewed again. Also, love those editors for saying they did the movie mostly without studio interference. And speaking of The Hurt Locker, I’m sad to say that I still haven’t seen it yet.

11:18 pm: I’ve decided that I don’t like the lampshade curtain wall that keeps coming down. That must go. El secreto de sus ojos (The Secret in Their Eyes) wins Best Foreign Language film, and writer/director Juan José Campanella’s joke about not having to compete against Avatar probably only went over with me.

11:33 pm: Interesting that they’re bringing back one of the things I loved from last year’s telecast. Michelle Pfieffer’s tribute to Jeff Bridges rocked, as did Vera Farmiga’s to George Clooney. Colin Firth’s smile at Julianne Moore’s words to him made me tear up, as does Morgan Freeman’s at Tim Robbins’ joke, but in a different way. And of course Colin Farrell’s was amazing. Hearty applause for everyone. And the Oscar goes to Jeff Bridges! Goddamn, his wife is gorgeous.

11:52 pm: For some reason I’m not loving these Best Actress speeches as much as I loved the Best Actor ones… except for Stanley Tucci’s. Did Sean Penn just imply that Meryl Streep got robbed last year? God, I love that man sometimes.

Sandra Bullock wins for The Blind Side, and I think I love the fact that she’s not only the winner of the Best Actress Oscar but she’s also the winner of the Worst Actress Razzie for her work in All About Steve. Oh, God… is this over yet?

11:58 pm: Best Director goes to Kathryn Bigelow, and I did give a little screech of happiness. I’m even happier that Avatar didn’t win Best Picture.

And I’m done!