Columbia pic gets five comedy stars

Q: What do you get when you put Kevin James, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and David Spade in a comedy together?

A: I don’t know; Columbia Pictures hasn’t released the title yet.

Variety does know that Sandler’s production company Happy Madison will be producing it; that Sandler wrote the screenplay with Fred Wolf (Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star); and that the high concept is that it’s the story of five best friends from high school who reunite on a Fourth of July weekend.

But based on what we know about these guys, I think I can guess which roles they’ll be playing in the movie:

Kevin James: He excels at being the Everyman, so he will be our “lead” and the character with whom we’re supposed to identify the most.

Chris Rock: He does angry so well I can’t see him as perhaps reprising his Rufus role from Dogma.

Adam Sandler: Duh! He’ll be the slow one of the group, who perhaps gets in a few good zingers here and there.

Rob Schneider: No contest—I see Schneider as the insane goofball with a heart of gold. He’s also going to be doing the most physical comedy.

David Spade: He’ll be the other straight man, mostly because I don’t think that his style of deadpan has worked well against other more physical and less cerebral comedians since Chris Farley died. Perhaps Spade’s character and Rock’s will be a comedy team?

I guess this means I don’t need to see this movie anymore, doesn’t it?